Thursday, April 2, 2009

Lemme hide and please don't seek thankyouverymuch!!

Ok. So this blogging thing isn't taking off as expected. You see, even as i tuned into myself over the last few days, trying to settle on a topic that i would like to write about, i kept getting cut off-from myself. Yes. Non comprendo? I'll try as best as i can to explain this. What happened was that, each time i felt i was closing in on a topic to put up here, i found myself hitting this firewall so to speak, so that i didn't go very far thinking about it. So much so, that i sensed the presence of this filter even when i was merely thinking of what next to say to my sis on the phone ! Weird? No. Weird would be successfully keeping off the weight i lose. This, almost has an autoimmune-like quality to it.

It didn't take long to figure out what was really going on in me head--on some level there's this innate aversion to be fully known, to be audibly heard, to be clearly seen. It's as if i were a color i'd be the color of your background. If i were with you in a room, i'd be the key holder or the coat rack. I'd be the Madam Pomfrey of Hogwarts, the back-up vocals in a song, and the proverbial fly on the wall.
This phenomenon is getting more intriguing, and amusing, even i as write these things--my brains have just shut down and put up a 'Closed' sign. See what i mean? :). I don't think i can do much. It's almost like appealing to a relentless and somewhat offended government official:
Official: "Aaj office time khatam huan, bola na kal aao!".
Me: "Lekin abhi is blog entry ka ending baaki hain "
Official: "Toh? Office tho bandh huan na? Time dekh ke aao"
Me: "Please sir.."
Official: Ignores, maintains a stony silience and finally walks away from the desk.

Oh well, hope to conclude this post soon.....Better luck tomorrow perhaps? Or the day after...perhaps? Hmm?

1 comment:

  1. sometimes my best idea comes to me when i m travelling in the suburban trains of mumbai...good material there!! however if you strongly feel about something you must not just pen a few words just coz you must every once in a blog for instance...apart from the fact that i havent found the time....i have not found a super topic in a bottom line-take your time...